If I had to choose.......

If I had to choose one person who has modeled kindness and generosity of spirit throughout my lifetime, it would have to be my mother. She was always thinking about my grandmothers and doing things for them. She extended herself to neighbours who were in need, offering time and food and an ear to listen when times were tough. One lady was dying of cancer. My mother was one of the only people who called and visited this lady, bringing her things and showing she cared. I remember that lady crying with tears of joy and gratitude for what my mother did for her soon before she died. She had been lonely and isolated in her illness and overwhelmed by her young family. In mom’s mind, she didn’t do much at all but it clearly meant the world to our neighbour.

I learned as I watched my mother. I saw that she always had kind words and a ready smile for people who were somehow disadvantaged in life – mentally or physically challenged, poor, elderly, ill, you name it. Mom was not above anyone and she seemed to know that some people needed kindness more than others. I could see how she sort of glowed from the inside out and poured this light out on to the people around her, especially to the people who most would turn away from. I wanted what she had.

One of the things I am most grateful to my mother for is that she endured taking my sisters and me to church every Sunday despite our (occasional) protestations and the fact that dad did not attend. She directed the choir and participated in many of the church functions, instilling in me a love of feeling useful and a part of something innately good. I remember how one of the organists – a flamboyant, social misfit of a man, really admired my mother. She meant a great deal to him, I know, because she treated him as she did everyone else – with kindness and compassion. He would come walking in with a flowing black cape and an eccentric way about him in this ultra conservative place. He received many a sideways glance and looks of scorn, I am sure. I saw how my mother seemed to take no notice of his differences but rather focused on his talent, his heart, and his humanity and I saw what an impression this made on him.

My mother continues to care for people now that I am grown and have children of my own. I am grateful that she has begun to learn how to take care of herself, taking time to refuel as she nurses my chronically ill father. I am grateful to my mother for this because it soothes my soul to know that this person who I love so much is making some attempts to finally treat herself with a modicum of the kindness with which she treats others.

My mother has helped me to become the woman I am today and I am blessed to be paying it forward.

Anonymous